I spent this weekend with my good friend Mary. We looked at old family photos and got caught up on what our kids have been doing. We enjoyed a going to a wonderfully funny production of "The Producers". We both laughed ourselves silly over this raunchy Mel Brooks satire. Besides a love of live theater, we've found we share many things such as; we're both fiercely democratic, love peanut butter, we both are very active. Mary keeps busy playing tennis 3-4 times a week, and dancing the tango regularly with a group in Spokane. We compared our mutual problem with loosing keys and many small everyday items.. she claims it's a typical Irish problem. She has also just returned from a trip to Spain and Santorini Greece with her adult son and daughter. As I'm heading off to Greece and Santorini this September she eagerly answered all my travel questions. Mary had many suggestions for what to wear and she insisted on giving me several beautiful skirts, that of course fit to a tee. I smiled and enjoyed her sharing nature. As my birth mother, Mary has opened herself to me fully.
As an adopted child from the 1950's I was ignorant of much of my genetic history. In our family though it never really mattered. In my childbirth classes I always emfasize how important a birth story is to a child and I was blessed with a wonderful story. My brother and I always knew we where adopted, but mom and dad presented it as their chance to "pick out" the best little boy and girl. We where special in their eyes and we consequentlywe felt the same. Mom would tell the story of getting us from St. Anne's over and over and this came to be my birth story.
The question of my birth family was always presented as a loving family that gave us up for adoption because they where poor and couldn't take care of us. As we grew older mom filled in what she remembered of our birth records, which was pretty sketchy.
Mary has answered many of my questions about my birth and my genetic background. She came from a large Irish family. She was the youngest of 6 as is my adopted mother. Her mother was especially talented musically and played the piano by ear. Many in her family are musical and several have even professional musicians. I guess this helps to explain Tony's talent and love of music.
Mary herself is a very active person. She was a yoga instructor for several years and she continues to practice these skills in addition to keeping active with tennis and dancing. At 76 she is the picture of an active senior.
As far as a health history it looks like I have not much to worry about. Mary has had no problems health wise except for a tendency to not go to a Dr. The family has some history of a tendency to drink a bit too much, but she claims this is typical in an Irish family. There is no real history of cancer or even much heart disease.
Mary was able to meet mom and dad the fall before dad died in 2003. I'm sure they where all pretty nervous about this but Mary instantly put them all at ease. As I introduced them all she gathered both mom and dad into a hug and proclaimed "Well, it looks like we did pretty good with our girl". It was a wonderful opportunity for all of them to talk about my history and to show off photos. Mary and mom have become friends through me and I find this a deep joy. I have been blessed to have been raised by a mother and father who gave me a wonderful childhood and start in life. Without the choices Mary made many years ago I would never have been part of their life. I can't thank my parents enough for what they have given me.
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